2012 -- A Retrospective

I began 2012 without making any New Year’s Resolutions.  That is unlike me, as I actually enjoy the process of considering goals and laying out a plan to achieve them.  At the end of 2011, I was feeling a bit in disarray.  I felt fat.  I felt stressed because my job was in jeopardy. I felt unmotivated to change things that I knew needed to be changed.  I was worried that my heart was unhealthy, and that age was actually catching up to me. I was kicking myself in the ass because I hadn’t bought a ski pass for the first time in 20 years and there was plenty of snow to ski on. There were some positive things.  I had received my 4th degree black belt. I was rising early most days of the week and walking my dog on the trails.  My girls were beautiful and fun.

For the most part, however, I just remember feeling a weird sort of glumness that was not usual for me.

So 2012 started, and with it, I ignored my usual goal consideration.  I knew I needed to drink less and set some event goals. I wanted to be more kind and loving to my family. I wanted to not feel stressed out. I wanted to run weekly, swim weekly, do Tae Kwon Do weekly, and climb more.  But I felt myself brushing all those ideas under the rug.

Around mid-January, I discovered the Paleo diet.  I am certain I had heard about the “caveman” diet somewhere along the line.  It just never stuck in my psyche.  I found a few blogs, and read some reports of miracles…weight loss, reversing diabetes, complete recovery from metabolic disorders, being cured of fibromyalgia, reversing MS.  These things seemed amazing to me.  As an herbalist, I had researched many ways to work with people in helping them to recover from some of these illnesses, but these people weren’t taking any herbs that I could tell.  They simply made some dietary adjustments.

I started reading more. I read about cold thermogenesis and thought, “Seriously!  Why should weight loss be so contrived?”

I read some more, and some more, and some more.  I told myself there was no way I could do it.  I couldn’t give up beer.   

April came, and with it some family from California.  We got a foot of snow the morning they arrived, and I took a winter hike up into the blizzarding conditions.  Later that day, I drank my usual beers while we all visited.  And again, the next day, and the next day, and the next day.  We actually proclaimed how much we enjoyed beer and how we would never stop. 

And then I woke up one morning and said, “No more!”

And then I went mostly paleo.

I started losing weight.

I lost 12 pounds the first month.

I lost 17 by month two.

I lost 25 by month three.

I lost 35 by month four.

I stopped drinking beer every day.

I did several races.

I discovered that I like being low-carb.

I found that in Tae Kwon Do, my kicks were easier, faster, higher. My speed increased without even trying. I discovered that when I rode my road bike around “the Loop,” I didn’t feel like I was going to bonk on the way home.  When I ran, I felt good for longer. Swimming felt more effortless.

I discovered that when I drank, I felt like shit.  My sleep was disrupted and my motivation tanked.

I started taking magnesium, quercitin, and bacopa regularly.  I bought only pastured butter and started using full-fat pastured whip cream in my coffee.  I cooked bacon a lot.  I started making paleo meals for the whole family for dinner, and no one complained.  

I started meditating again.

I remained employed.

I repeated the doula training course.

I signed up for a career transition meditation course.

I started thinking outside the box.

I started journaling again, and really focused on trying to figure out what I really want to do.

I started feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

We started raising chickens.

I am still learning.  Every single day there are new things to learn about.  

Am I there yet?  Where I want to be?  Where I need to be?  No.

And now, 2013 is here.

I have not yet made any New Year’s Resolutions.

I do have a book proposal I am working on.

I have submitted a proposal to present at AHS 2013.

I am attending a cold-weather MovNat course in January.

I am leading an herbal elixir/cordials for Valentine’s Day class.

I think that I would like be certified as a MovNat instructor. I would like to work as a wellness coach. I would like to be certified as a pre-natal fitness and nutritional coach. 

I want to work as a doula this year.

I want to be kinder, gentler, sweeter, and more loving to my family.

I want to get my website up and running, and I want to launch my new business.

So, I guess that all these things are not really resolutions, but they are however things that are either in the cue, or which I would like to move into the cue. 

If there is one thing that I’ve learned in 2012, it’s that I am very capable of getting where I need to be.  

Happy 2013!! May this be the luckiest year yet.